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Results for July 12th Theatresports

In an incredible upset, long-reigning champs, Lost Boyz lose to Zero Dark Qwerty. Captain Shann McGrail sites overconfidence as their achilles heel, but team mate Terri Skov feels the loss was due to faulty score-keeping. “We know the ARSE (Audience Response Score Evaluator) is calibrated to audience volume at the beginning of each show, but lets face it, the sound bouncing off those walls is erratic at best. We have no idea what that machine is actually “hearing”, no matter how delicate the Claputron 2390 instrumentation is”. Zero Dark Qwerty’s Captain, Jeremy Butler commends a strong University background in Shakespearean dialect, as well as Hockey Night in Canada as the salvation of a team who’s first “tri-pan” scene was hastily halted by the bored Hell Judge. Only the Golden Hockey Stick could bring them back to a 21-18 victory. The second half all-stars blew the audience away with “Think Outside the Cardboard Box” putting in a spectacular teenage Jesus scene, with the bearded Forbes calling his teacher “stoopid” and turning his classmates lunches into “stuff”… but he and Captain Pearson could not squeak past the “Smell of a Wet Ferrari” (Barnes, Chud and Lauzon) who put in great audience sound effects, physicality and manipulated the Claputron past the point of exact calibration. They won 36-35 NEXT SHOW: August 9th! QEPark Black Box Theatre.

 

 

 

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